Learn to spot the "Four Horsemen" of damaging interaction — criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling — as they appear in technical teams, and understand why contempt in particular predicts breakdown. Practise naming a Horseman in the moment without escalating, and build a reference card that keeps your team honest.
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How toxic behaviours quietly wreck good teams — free to watch, no account needed.
What you'll learn
- Recognise the four Horsemen — criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling — in everyday team interaction
- Explain why contempt is the strongest single predictor of relationship breakdown
- Distinguish a specific complaint from character-attacking criticism
- Name a Horseman in the moment without escalating the conflict further
- Produce a one-page Four Horsemen behaviour reference card for your team
Syllabus
Why Toxic Behaviours Matter, and What the Four Horsemen Are
How toxic behaviours quietly wreck good teamsFree preview
The Four Horsemen — Gottman's model
Contempt and the Skill of Naming a Horseman
Contempt — why it predicts breakdown
Naming a Horseman in the moment
Applying the Model to Real IT Teams
The Horsemen in code reviews, retros and planning
Case study — the meeting derailed by contempt
Making It Stick
Your Four Horsemen behaviour reference card
Common traps and anti-patterns to avoid